WHAT IS GASLIGHTING?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person or group causes someone to question their sanity, memories or perception of reality. People who are being gaslit may feel confused, anxious or as though they cannot even trust themselves.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the name of an old film where the husband manipulates the wife into thinking that she has mental illnesses.
Gaslighting is more common in interpersonal and romantic relationships, it can still happen to your professional relationships. At work, gaslighting can even be when the manager or colleague discredits a worker’s performance. Long-term gaslighting can make the worker think that they are not doing a good job.
5 SIGNS OF GASLIGHTING AT WORK
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OMISSION OF INFORMATION
When a colleague or manager intentionally forgets to mention important information or purposely omits it from conversations, it may be gaslighting. It will be challenging for you to meet expectations if you weren’t given notice on deadlines or meetings. This will end up with you blaming or even questioning yourself for underperforming. When this behaviour is recognised, it is better to voice it out before it gets out of hand.
2. NEGATIVE PERFORMANCE NARRATIVE
Gaslighting at work can happen when you are told that your work performance is bad. For example, when your colleagues or manager disparage your performance, skills, abilities and professionalism even when all of those are fine. Usually, these narratives are from their personal judgments and biases.
3. FLUCTUATING EXPECTATIONS
For any professional setting, it is important that managers and supervisors make their expectations clear so that employees are able to achieve their goals. However, if your manager’s expectations are fluctuating without any early notice or disclosures, you may find it challenging to deliver these expectations. You can overcome these types of gaslighting by encouraging effective communication with your managers and frequently checking with them.
4. INVALIDATION
Gaslighting at work typically happens through the act of invalidation. For example, if your manager gets defensive when you inform them of any negative feelings you are experiencing. This behaviour will make you feel uncomfortable and even guilty for trying to discuss it. However, you can request for a colleague to be with you during the discussion so that you can have another person to listen in.
5. VICTIM BLAMING
Victim blaming can happen in the workplace when a worker expresses frustration of unfair treatment. For example, if you were to raise an issue of a colleague excluding you from a project and instead of confronting your colleague, your manager ends up blaming you. This behavior causes you to have internal doubts about yourself.